What I feared the most became a reality of the day, month and a season. The need to be loved and appreciated by the ones I love, became a torment to my fragile heart. I thought expressing how I feel would create room for me to true friendship, not realizing that I was just creating room for hate. Day and night, I would just grieve seeing the ones I value ignoring me and enjoying themselves, what did I do to them I always asked myself. Day by day I was introduced to a new dimension of pain while I hoped that things would get better.
On one beautiful Saturday morning I woke up and went outside for sun-busking. All I needed was solitude, so I then sat on a rock just near the house and suddenly began to think of how hard it was going to be for me to endure the painful season I was in. In that moment of thinking out loud, what I needed was a solution to combat the feeling of loneliness brought by the ones I thought cared for my well-being. I sat there and continued thinking for about thirty minutes. In that moment a sweet voice whispered to the attentive ear of my heart and said, “having a true loving heart is a gift from God and in as much as you may love people you should also create a room for disappointments then forgive and love again”. I shook my head and smiled and said to myself in a loud voice “wow so it’s my duty to love others and portray the Christ like character”.
After I had received that small revelation of loving people despite the way they treat me back in return I also realized that God loves me more than people can offer. The realization that I was given a true friend who sticks closer than a brother who is the Holy Spirit changed the whole story. I began to understand the need to appreciate myself first before anything else, the bible says “love your neighbor the way you love yourself”, meaning the first thing you should do is to appreciate and love yourself first before others. And now that you love yourself then you love others. A lot of people in today’s societies are depressed and lonely why because they value others more than they value themselves. The ideology of valuing others is not a sin or crime but it should not live you in a position in which you regret doing so. So, in order to love and value others without feeling as if you give a lot and get nothing in return but betrayal and disappointments, one should get to love himself or herself first.
Value your purpose first
Most of the time it’s hard to stand for what you believe in if you do not understand your purpose. Knowing your purpose creates a room for you to take inn any disturbing circumstances and deal with them at a personal level without hating those who foster them to you. As for me I understood that my duty is to nature, encourage, teach and stand with the broken hearted, so because I’m aware I know how well to deal with any negative energy that may come against me while taking my duty in dealing with people’s issues. To deal with the circumstances that comes your way you need first to understand the depth of what you carry and what is in you (YOUR PURPOSE).
In many cases it is difficult to understand your purpose as it comes with certain packages that we do not expect. Let’s look at the story of Joseph from Genesis 37 upwards. Joseph was in that position in which his brothers hated him because he always told them about his dreams that portrayed how big he was going to become. Notice his brothers began to hate him so much up to the point that they plotted a plan to sell him to the Egyptians, and indeed they sold him. When all this was happening to Joseph he did not stop dreaming and when he was sold and went to Egypt he went there for a purpose. His brothers sold him thinking that it was a way of getting rid of him but they lacked the revelation that they were positioning Joseph into his purpose which was seen during drought in the land, when his brothers went to Egypt in search of food in which Joseph was appointed a governor by then.
So, if Joseph had stopped believing in his dreams just because he was facing resistance and rejection from his brothers, he would not have made it in Potiphar’s house in which he became a governor just because the blessing of God was upon him, Genesis 39 vs 5. We derive a fundamental message from the story of Joseph in which we find that to every individual who has a purpose hard times and events are part of the obstacles that try to remove an individual from achieving his purpose and realizing that there is a great destiny ahead that is aligned to the purpose. In my story I realized that part of the experiences I had to go through were there to strengthen me and be a pointing factor to my purpose. All the rejection, loneliness and depression I got from feeling unappreciated and unloved pointed me to the realization that there are people out there who feel the same but haven’t found the answers yet but need someone to help them in that area.
When you’re in that position when you feel like you’ve been put on a corner by anything that threatens your peace in any area of your life, it’s really necessary that you take a closer look at that scenario and derive a hidden revelation that lies behind the experience. At times when we go through such hard moments, we tend to blame ourselves and begin to Hate ourselves instead of appreciating that every purpose carry with it circumstances that try to fight it just like what happened to Joseph. Joseph was born for a purpose but just because he understood it that’s why he always spoke out his dreams to his family, and notice the early manifestations that indeed he was destined for greatness came about when his brothers began to hate him and later on decided to sell him.
Dear brothers and sisters it’s really important that you understand that in this life as long as you carry something special the devil will not fold his hands and watch you rise but will raise his devices against you. A wise man once said “it’s not everyone who says ill roll with you will roll with you, it’s not everyone who says ill stand with you will stand with you” meaning at times the people who will hurt us are the people who are so close to us and at times the ones we call our friends or family but what you have to do is to understand your purpose and not to fight them back but allow them to taste the benefits that comes about with your purpose.
When it comes to loving
When it comes to loving, you should always love people no matter how much they have hated you. If Joseph had kept the evil that his brothers had done to him in his heart he would not maybe have provided food for them but he decided to forgive them because he knew that all that they had did to him was part of what was written to position him into his purpose Genesis 45 vs 5 – 7 “Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life. For these two years hath the famine been in the land: and yet there are five years, in the which there shall neither be earing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance”.
According to the scripture Genesis 45 vs 5-7 Joseph forgave his brothers because he understood that all that had happened was part of his destiny and he allowed his heart to love them despite of what they had done to him. So, it’s really necessary to love those who pain you after you’ve gotten to the realization that everything that happens, happens for a reason. My brother my sister you might be facing rejection from your relatives who are supposed to be assisting you with school fees but are doing nothing, in return you should not hate them but love them knowing that tomorrow they will awaken to the reality that you’re going to be their helper when trouble comes.
I have come across a lot of people that I valued and some of them I considered them as my best friends. Just like Joseph I told them some of my secrets and part of my vision by what I got in return was betrayal and a serious heart break. You wouldn’t believe how affected I was emotionally especially when they left me and went on exposing some of my secrets. I thought friendship meant that we rise together but I didn’t know that in friendship you can be betrayed and left behind as people actualize and build on a vision that you had contributed an idea on without you knowing. Even though I experienced all the drama I had to try my best to continue loving them despite what they did to me because I understood that it’s part of what I have to go through in order to achieve my purpose.
For God loved us with our sinful nature and sent his only son to die for us so that we may be forgiven from sin. God did this favor for us when he made his only begotten son to be crucified for us and just because he loved us, he had to lose Him because of us and this showed the depth of his love for us, john 3 vs 16. Have you ever seen that when there is an act of true love it seems as if someone has to lose something be it money or time as a sign of compassion and Love? Look, even Jesus when he came to die for us, he had to sacrifice his time by leaving His throne and coming here to die for us. Imagine he had to leave his Glorious throne because of you, and you just can’t sacrifice that hour to attend to someone who is feeling depressed just because they wronged you the other day. No matter how bad you’ve once been treated by the ones in need you should always love them and give them a shoulder to cry on.
My beloved brothers and sisters out there, don’t feel humiliated for expressing true love and getting nothing in return. It is in doing so that we find our purpose just as Christ did when he died for us on calvary and we couldn’t give him anything in return for the love he showed us, but God Glorified him and made him the king of kings and the Lord of lords. It doesn’t matter how much you’re struggling to be a good disciple amongst wolves, just keep on doing the good work, walk in purpose, show love and know that the rewarder is watching.
The art of loving even though you’re not appreciated:
by Eleazar P Zuze
